(no subject)

Mar. 3rd, 2015 08:44 pm
echan: Kaworu Nagisa from Evangelion (Default)
[personal profile] echan
I had a smart friend, exceedingly intelligent, who had a very wise mother. She told him (and he told me) that smart people don't owe the world our talents. That there's no obligation, no implied duty. We can dig ditches if we want to, fly kites, do nothing at all, and that's okay, perfectly fine even.

I try to believe it. I don't understand it at all.


I'm very intelligent. I'm also very, very depressed and grew up in rather shitty circumstances. Sometimes I look at what I've achieved and try to calculate how much better I would have done if I wasn't such a fuckup. My IQ is too high and my college GPA too low and it is occasionally impossible to not feel crushingly guilty.


I'm underpaid at my job. Some would say criminally so; I don't believe it is that bad, but I'm sure many of my coworkers would be shocked to learn how little my hourly wage is. It is a difficult trap to escape, when raises are percentage based, and nobody would sign off on a huge increase just to make things more fair. (What is fair?)


I value rather highly tangible measures of trust, access, importance. I got my first key, to anything, only once I was emancipated, a legal adult with it a house key. When I go in to work tonight I'll use two keycards four times to get through all the security and access control to arrive at my desk. My boss called me on my day off to ask for advice on an issue; I was grinning at the implied compliment on my skills, and he apologized for bothering me.


I don't want a new job for more money. But it would be nice to be a little more certain that I'm doing enough.
marahmarie: Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell (Default)
[personal profile] marahmarie

I disagree with Mr. Nimoy - I don't see why being different from the pack means you should have to become better than the pack or become essential to the pack in order to succeed. It's like how a woman has to become better than a man at what he does to be considered even half as good as him because ha ha, she's not a man. Who perpetuated that? Probably someone like Mr. Nimoy who started off by constructing a myth, until eventually that became our de facto way of sorting good enough (male, still breathing; can even be in a coma, doesn't matter) from not good enough (hyper-intelligent, sensitive, smart and ambitious woman who typically gets nowhere). So if you're half-white you must become better than both blacks and whites at at least one thing to be considered good enough for either race or to have any peace or self-satisfaction? Can we all - or can any of us, for that matter - aspire to be better than everyone else? At anything? Should anyone different enough from others have to? Should they have to beat their heads against that wall of striving and perfection and ambition and reaching higher than themselves from now until the day they die because it's the only way to redeem themselves for not being the same as the white male majority? Are these the things I owe society for being a bit different? For failing my prenatal genetics course that as a woman I could only partially pass by not having the sheer nerve and stupidity to be born anything less than a snub-nosed, blue-eyed blonde? Yes, folks, I failed Pre-Natal Genetics 101 with a solid F, but I'm not at all sorry that I did.

Seriously? Tell me why he's right. Or how that's not what he's saying - I'm so in the mood to hear this.

another good weekend

Mar. 2nd, 2015 01:55 pm
xnera: The Ninth Doctor says, "Fantastic!" (fantastic!)
[personal profile] xnera
On Friday we went to the fish fry at our local VFW hall. This is the third time I've gone, and it was just as good as the last two times.

Saturday morning I finished my BAMCAL blanket, finally. Just in time for the end of round 1 of Nerdopolis, which I submitted it to in the Area 51 category. Saturday night was pizza, which we usually have on Friday, so that was a bit weird (but good!).

On Sunday I completed Final Fantasy XIII-2. I still have some achievements to unlock, but the story itself is 100% finished. I immediately went out to obtain Lightning Returns. Alas, my local GameStop did not have it. I checked Best Buy, too, since I was in the area but didn't expect them to have it (they didn't). I'm going to check a different GameStop tomorrow after my therapy appointment. I really hope I can find it, because XIII-2 ends on a bit of a cliffhanger and I want to know what happens next!

I also stopped at Joann to pick up some size 9 needles for a new ministry shawl. I'm doing 198 Yards of Heaven but continuing on in pattern to make it bigger. I started it yesterday and knit for about two hours. Then I was bored and went to bed early.

Looking Back

Mar. 2nd, 2015 07:45 pm
lea_hazel: Don't make me look up from my book (Basic: Reading)
[personal profile] lea_hazel
Looking back at all the years of my blog which were dominated almost completely by uni stuff and I can't help but thinking that I just sort of flushed all those years away. For nothing. For no good reason. A friend told me once that I would stop thinking (eventually) that my twenties were the decade I had to pay back for my teens. I really hope that's true.
erik: detail from "The Scream" by Edvard Munch (ice cream)
[personal profile] erik
March: So many reasons for ice cream. St. Patrick's Day. National Frozen Food Month (though there is a specific Ice Cream Day later in the year). Pi Day.
For those of you that are new, the way it works is thus:
  1. I send out an email like this one listing the flavors I'm thinking of making this round and soliciting orders.
  2. You all respond to the email and order what you want.
  3. Some time passes (anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, depending on how many people order, how many different flavors I have to make to fill those orders, other things happening in my life...). If you have a specific date or event you need it by, let me know and I will do my best to accommodate you.
  4. I email those of you who ordered and we arrange to exchange ice cream for money.
  5. You give me $6/pint and I give you ice cream.
  6. Happiness.
The ice cream flavors on offer this month are:
  • Persian Lime *
  • Aztec Chocolate (Xocolatl) *
  • Rose Petal *
  • Candied Kumquat
  • Nutmeg
  • Pink Peppercorn
  • Caramel
  • Malted Milk
  • Wasabi *
NEW! Any of the ones with * can now be made Lactose Free for only $1 more!

(The others probably can as well, but I haven't done the experiment. If you want one of those Lactose Free, let me know; maybe you can be the Guinea Pig!)

  • 10" Pineapple Upside-Down Butterscotch Pound Cake: $15
  • NEW! Lemon Pots Du Creme Custard: $2 for 3 (look for new flavors in the coming months!)

And as always, if you want a flavor you've gotten from me before but I'm not offering this round, let me know. You may have to order enough to cover a batch, and you may have to wait a little longer, but I will do my best to accommodate.
marahmarie: Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell (Default)
[personal profile] marahmarie

I'm so far behind on news that I only see it when I crack open this ancient artifact the stores still sell called a newspaper, and that's only when I eat at home, which is just a few times a week. It takes me so long to get through a newspaper these days (I'm still catching up on November's) that I only buy one every other week and not on Sunday, either, because I rarely have time to shop the way I'd like to and cutting coupons is like OMG, I need to hire someone. So I only found out tonight that there's a good followup to my post about web form gender options while eating and reading a newspaper from Feb. 27th - that Facebook has made a huge improvement by adding a text box to theirs.

I don't use Facebook so it won't affect me (I don't know if I ever picked a gender with them, nor which one I might've picked since it's not a real-name page, anyway, and I don't care) but I'm posting this, anyway, to give a nod to [personal profile] darkoshi for pointing out the 58 flavors Facebook lets you choose from nowadays and [personal profile] firecat for wanting to see a text box everywhere.

(no subject)

Mar. 1st, 2015 09:41 pm
dreamwriteremmy: Alexis Bledel, a brunette smiling sitting on a bench (Default)
[personal profile] dreamwriteremmy
Well... That was an interesting episode for Night Vale. And even if Cecil's clueless, I think I have a guess as to the "who bought Lot 37?" question. And it explains a lot. (And I don't think anyone expected that one lol.)
- Emmy
marahmarie: Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell (Default)
[personal profile] marahmarie

...editing an entry after you've deleted its tags from the Manage Tags page recreates its original tags. Just noticed it while disabling cookies so I could check my bloggy blog while logged out like other readers might be. Editing the post in question just a few days ago (*ahem*, this one - and please don't ask me to explain my love for that song but I think it's fantastic) somehow recreated them. I just didn't notice it did until about five minutes ago. I thought for a second: "How could I have missed deleting any tags?" because I definitely went all scorched Earth and deleted every last tag a few weeks ago because I don't want to see tags on any of my posts ever again. Then it hit me that the tags in question went to the one post that had tags to begin with that I've edited since deleting all my tags.

Oh Dreamwidth, you're still so buggy, and so far along now out of Beta.

The big 40

Feb. 28th, 2015 10:27 am
calystarose: Callisto from Xena & a rose (Default)
[personal profile] calystarose
I had planned on getting my name legally changed, finally, for this birthday. But it'll have to wait a year or so.

Still, first bday in way too long that I am not living in Texas. That's a big and wonderful thing.

I have my kitties and my mom and my friends. I'm pretty damn lucky.

Thank you all for being there for me over the years. I honestly would not have made it this far without you. *hugs*


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